The Purple Nostalgia

And the year ended, and another year began.

The smooth flow of things ended up in an ever increasing crescendo. Many things may have changed, but it was the smooth flow that kept the river from running dry. My river of passion.

Even though the previous year had ended, this year starts with the same prelude. The same prelude plays in an allegro tune that starts out with a taste of pianissimo. I feel as if this interminable prelude would spread out against the invisible sky and splash it with colors. It is the same prelude that started my previous year. From that introduction, the piece flows quite gently and magnificently throughout the year.

How did the story turn out in the end?

I stared up at the invisible sky last December in 2006. Walking home across the ice-filled football field, I wondered whether there was hope for another year. The dream seemed far fetched and no hopes had shown yet. I could only inhale the cold air and exhale a warm one. My icy hands were shaking inside my pockets. My shaky legs could have already collapsed.

What saved me from that cold winter? I asked myself often. All of the time I only arrived with one conclusion. My Winter Sun.

It might have came quite late, but it was on time. Before I lost myself in the inner chaos, a light had already been shining around me. Saved, I could only think.

What was that dream like again?

The sky was bloody red. I was weakly standing in the middle of the street. The surrounding buildings towered around me as if telling me that it was over for me. No hope was left.

The empty, blood red sky hovered around me. I felt helpless inside, yet I wanted to just burst out from within and do my best. I wanted that future, a bright future. But for whom? I asked myself.

It was empty.

I swore that I woke up barely realizing my wants. It was almost the start of another year, I told myself. It was another chance, another hope for me to work for my future.

If the bloody red sky should hover over me, I won't let it. If the buildings around me should try to intimidate me, I won't let them. If the emptiness inside me tries to scare me, I won't let it.

That December dream formed my resolve.

To live a life along with my winter sun, I look forward. I found the answer to my question. "For whom was the future for?"

"For my winter sun."

That was merely what started the prelude in fortissimo last year. The resolution of 2007 gave me a new direction.

What about now? What is the resolution this year?

A new start, definitely, but I want to continue the resolve I had formed inside. The change I had last year had a definite impact on me. The impact is almost tangible to the point that I could literally feel the happiness.

An everlasting crescendo.

And thus, looking back to just last year, I could have sworn that I started from nothing to something. The tune would play and I would try to let it play until I can perform my own cadenza. My own concerto together with the light I found that one winter.

An "Allegro Cantabile Sound" indeed. The lively sound that said "life is just the same as this song."

How I reminisce last year in glee. I keep to that oath I made a year ago. The Amaranthine Affection continues to grow.

-Ron